One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Millions of Americans are filing for divorce. As the divorce rate continues to escalate in America, dating relationships are becoming more popular.
Social scientists have led us in the wrong direction, as they embrace incorrect solutions to a momentous problem. They are sending forth a message that is misleading pertaining to dating relationships. This message by social scientists will continue to mislead individuals who sincerely want to establish healthy dating relationships, with the hope of embracing an everlasting marriage. In this article, we will explore the truth behind the soaring divorce rate. In our search for a remedy, we are spending billions of dollars annually chasing illusionary solutions.
In the previous article, “The Art of Selection”, we explored how the selection process is retarded when selecting our dating partners. One’s selfish soul perverts the meaning of dating that may lead to marriage by focusing on imagination and desires. Take a step further; let us look at imaginary pleasures and security. Trapped in the fairy tale syndrome, we pursue dating and love relationships in an effort to receive immediate and future gratification from our dating partners. The selfish soul commits acts that weaken the foundation of a healthy relationship from the very start. The potential dating partner commits blameworthy acts to make a good impression. He/she gives a misleading representation of oneself, being overly kind, spending extravagantly, being conscious of one’s physical appearance, always appearing truthful, having late night telephone marathons, and displaying a disposition of caring and commonality of interests are commonplace when painting a handsome picture of deception. In one’s effort to insure the acquisition of his/her desires, he/she resorts to deception to consummate personal relationships that eventually end in disaster. This activity is the beginning of the breakdown in the marriage union before a potential marriage couple says, “I do”.
Before marriage and during the courtship, the relationship seems magical. Every day is a heartwarming experience. It feels so surreal and no one likes to be aroused from a dream. This state of elation takes total control of us, blocking out any semblance of rational thought. Helplessly hypnotized, we become a servant to an oppressive master, our own desires. We absorb this form of deception similar to a sponge that absorbs water that eventually transforms into tears.
Allowing our desires to be the criteria to make decisions exposes us to the most destructive form of a relationship. It becomes impossible to be fair, just, equitable, impartial, unprejudiced, unbiased, objective or dispassionate with others or ourselves. If the family structure is the foundation of society, then we must rethink our strategy when approaching a serious relationship.
As the dawn of reality rushes in and the dusk of deception slowly fades away, reflecting the light of reason, it becomes apparent we are in an undesirable dating relationship. It is no surprise that our mate’s disposition changes. He/she goes from being overly kind to being overly aggressive, mentally and physically. Sexual passion dissipates, extravagant spending dissolves, the truth becomes lies, commonality of interest changes to two strangers passing by one another in the night, and the list of deceptions continues to unfold.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
6 Secrets to Be the Nice Guy Women Want
Sure you're nice - most people are. So what?
This quality is one that reflects your feeling
that you're a man worth knowing and you deserve
women's attention. But do you really believe
that women pay attention to what you think you
deserve?
Being nice is not enough. Okay, fine, you're nice,
but you also need to be interesting.
Unfortunately, "nice guy" equates to wimp/dweeb
in too many people's minds.
Believe me: you don't have to be a jerk to
attract women!
As a matter of fact, women did not like jerks or
aggressive men. They are attracted by challenging,
interesting guys. That's all. You can be
interesting, challenging and still a nice man. Be
yourself but keep in mind these significant
things that can make the difference between a
regular nice guy and a successful one:
1. Women LOVE a man who is a CHALLENGE... the
quickest and easiest way I've ever heard to let a
woman know that YOU are the guy she should be
pursuing is to let women know you are successful
with women. Be a nice guy, but one that is
desirable. :)
2. The MOST EFFECTIVE way to approach a woman and
spark her attraction for you is giving her a
COMPLIMENT on her looks. This can be suicidal if
done wrong... but just find something at her what
you really think is special, different about her.
You give attention, and you will get attention in
return!
3. Not being aggressive doesn't mean that you
have to wait for madam perfection to drop into
your lap (which you as a "nice guy" deserve by
definition, of course). You have to take some
initiative. BE SELF-CONFIDENT (but not really
cocky) and show some honest interest in something
about a woman.
4. The best selling genre of books in the world
is romance novels... because women LOVE romance.
So don't talk about sport for God seek! If you
are not the type of man that reads poetry or is
able to talk about moon or about the smell of
burned tree leafs, don't do it. You'll look
unnatural. But taking your date in a romantic
place, offering her a nice flower, enjoying some
good music or even touching her hand in a
delicate way is very romantic.
5. And don't talk only about you. You want her to
listen to you? Then first listen carefully to her
when she needs to be heard. The most effective
way to be interesting is asking questions and…
listens. Only try and you'll see. :)
Keep in mind that often (not always, but very
often) when a woman tells you about a problem she'
s having, she's not looking to you for the
solution. What? That doesn't make sense? What
she's often looking for is comfort and
reassurance and knowing that YOU'RE THERE.
6. One of the most important things in dating is
to approach women that are interested in dating
and women that seem to be interested in you. Don'
t try to sell candies to someone that is looking
for peanuts and don't waste your time with women
that are still affected by their ex long term
relationships. You don't want to be just a
shoulder to cry?
You only live once, so live your life well!
This quality is one that reflects your feeling
that you're a man worth knowing and you deserve
women's attention. But do you really believe
that women pay attention to what you think you
deserve?
Being nice is not enough. Okay, fine, you're nice,
but you also need to be interesting.
Unfortunately, "nice guy" equates to wimp/dweeb
in too many people's minds.
Believe me: you don't have to be a jerk to
attract women!
As a matter of fact, women did not like jerks or
aggressive men. They are attracted by challenging,
interesting guys. That's all. You can be
interesting, challenging and still a nice man. Be
yourself but keep in mind these significant
things that can make the difference between a
regular nice guy and a successful one:
1. Women LOVE a man who is a CHALLENGE... the
quickest and easiest way I've ever heard to let a
woman know that YOU are the guy she should be
pursuing is to let women know you are successful
with women. Be a nice guy, but one that is
desirable. :)
2. The MOST EFFECTIVE way to approach a woman and
spark her attraction for you is giving her a
COMPLIMENT on her looks. This can be suicidal if
done wrong... but just find something at her what
you really think is special, different about her.
You give attention, and you will get attention in
return!
3. Not being aggressive doesn't mean that you
have to wait for madam perfection to drop into
your lap (which you as a "nice guy" deserve by
definition, of course). You have to take some
initiative. BE SELF-CONFIDENT (but not really
cocky) and show some honest interest in something
about a woman.
4. The best selling genre of books in the world
is romance novels... because women LOVE romance.
So don't talk about sport for God seek! If you
are not the type of man that reads poetry or is
able to talk about moon or about the smell of
burned tree leafs, don't do it. You'll look
unnatural. But taking your date in a romantic
place, offering her a nice flower, enjoying some
good music or even touching her hand in a
delicate way is very romantic.
5. And don't talk only about you. You want her to
listen to you? Then first listen carefully to her
when she needs to be heard. The most effective
way to be interesting is asking questions and…
listens. Only try and you'll see. :)
Keep in mind that often (not always, but very
often) when a woman tells you about a problem she'
s having, she's not looking to you for the
solution. What? That doesn't make sense? What
she's often looking for is comfort and
reassurance and knowing that YOU'RE THERE.
6. One of the most important things in dating is
to approach women that are interested in dating
and women that seem to be interested in you. Don'
t try to sell candies to someone that is looking
for peanuts and don't waste your time with women
that are still affected by their ex long term
relationships. You don't want to be just a
shoulder to cry?
You only live once, so live your life well!
Monday, February 15, 2010
3 Tricks When Talking on the Phone with a Woman You Have Met Online
You have met an interesting woman online. You two
had a great time chatting online and she decided
to give you her phone number. Now you have to
make her want to see you face to face, and the
phone is your only tool.
The first telephone call is the most important
one. Sure you have her number, but nothing has
been won yet.
1. Before you call you should have prepared a
list of several topics to talk about. Hopefully
your email exchange has provided you with some
information to follow up on. Study her profile to
think of other topics to talk about. Prepare open
ended questions. Start talking about a subject,
and give her a chance to speak as well.
2. DON'T: ask her questions about other guys she'
s seeing, suspiciously interrogate her about how
she spends her time, and angrily reprimand her
for flaking on you. How she spends her time is
her business.
A lot of men sabotage their chances with a woman
by don't giving her enough credit and respect.
You know there's trouble if you're doing all the
talking and her replies are short or non-existent.
If so it either means you haven't hit on the
right topic to talk about, or, more likely, she
simply isn't interested. Also, if she ends the
conversation early or "has to go", leave it up to
her to call you again, if she wants to. Usually,
she won't.
So, when talking to a woman on the phone DON'T
worry about impressing her. Have fun. Enjoy the
conversation. Amuse yourself.
3. At first phone conversation is better to stay
away of complimenting her. I think giving women
compliments can be very powerful. But when you
give a woman compliments within the context of
trying to win her over, you become a wuss.
Usually women are curious why the men they are
talking to online decided to pick them instead of
other thousandths of profiles. Most of them will
ask you about these "reasons" and by doing this
are giving you the opportunity to make her
compliments. So, wait the moment. :)
If the conversation flow easily, effortlessly, if
you find her fairly responsive and you can keep
up the conversation for at least a half hour you
can ask her out. Her answer seam to be: "YES".
had a great time chatting online and she decided
to give you her phone number. Now you have to
make her want to see you face to face, and the
phone is your only tool.
The first telephone call is the most important
one. Sure you have her number, but nothing has
been won yet.
1. Before you call you should have prepared a
list of several topics to talk about. Hopefully
your email exchange has provided you with some
information to follow up on. Study her profile to
think of other topics to talk about. Prepare open
ended questions. Start talking about a subject,
and give her a chance to speak as well.
2. DON'T: ask her questions about other guys she'
s seeing, suspiciously interrogate her about how
she spends her time, and angrily reprimand her
for flaking on you. How she spends her time is
her business.
A lot of men sabotage their chances with a woman
by don't giving her enough credit and respect.
You know there's trouble if you're doing all the
talking and her replies are short or non-existent.
If so it either means you haven't hit on the
right topic to talk about, or, more likely, she
simply isn't interested. Also, if she ends the
conversation early or "has to go", leave it up to
her to call you again, if she wants to. Usually,
she won't.
So, when talking to a woman on the phone DON'T
worry about impressing her. Have fun. Enjoy the
conversation. Amuse yourself.
3. At first phone conversation is better to stay
away of complimenting her. I think giving women
compliments can be very powerful. But when you
give a woman compliments within the context of
trying to win her over, you become a wuss.
Usually women are curious why the men they are
talking to online decided to pick them instead of
other thousandths of profiles. Most of them will
ask you about these "reasons" and by doing this
are giving you the opportunity to make her
compliments. So, wait the moment. :)
If the conversation flow easily, effortlessly, if
you find her fairly responsive and you can keep
up the conversation for at least a half hour you
can ask her out. Her answer seam to be: "YES".
Sunday, December 20, 2009
5 Tips to Keep a Marriage Exciting
The buildup to the wedding is so exciting; making arrangements, laying out a plan for your future lives together. But after the honeymoon ends, life begins. And while you may have the most wonderful marriage, even the most devoted couple is certain to find the married lifestyle to be at times, well let’s say, less than exciting. I mean let’s face it, you love the other person, but spending all day with the same individual makes for a lot of routine activities, that if you are not careful can drag on your relationship and make you both feel unsatisfied with what is otherwise a very loving relationship.
As a result, it is vital that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will remain exciting merely on its own momentum. Rather, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to infuse their relationships with a bit of excitement.
1. Have Independent Interests
You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. Having independent interests means that you have something unique to bring to conversations, ensuring that you both always have something interesting, and yes exciting, to say to one another.
2. Spontaneous Events
While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous. So to mix things up; plan an afternoon or evening event that is completely new. Try that show your spouse has been dying to see, or visit that new restaurant that just opened up.
3. Never threaten separation
This is less a rule to keep things exciting, and more one to keep them sound. A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages.
4. Weekend Trips
One sure-fire way to inject some romance into your marriage is to take a vacation with just the two of you. But with the rigors of life and the costs of a trip, a full-blown vacation can seem hard to justify. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship.
5. Spice up the bedroom
The final tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy or adult toy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage.
As a result, it is vital that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will remain exciting merely on its own momentum. Rather, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to infuse their relationships with a bit of excitement.
1. Have Independent Interests
You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. Having independent interests means that you have something unique to bring to conversations, ensuring that you both always have something interesting, and yes exciting, to say to one another.
2. Spontaneous Events
While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous. So to mix things up; plan an afternoon or evening event that is completely new. Try that show your spouse has been dying to see, or visit that new restaurant that just opened up.
3. Never threaten separation
This is less a rule to keep things exciting, and more one to keep them sound. A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages.
4. Weekend Trips
One sure-fire way to inject some romance into your marriage is to take a vacation with just the two of you. But with the rigors of life and the costs of a trip, a full-blown vacation can seem hard to justify. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship.
5. Spice up the bedroom
The final tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy or adult toy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage.
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